Is the weather getting colder where you live? It is here. I live in Northern Wyoming and every day has been a mystery. One day it’s 54 degrees, the next it’s 38. Frankly, I never know what to expect. So I take a jacket. Everywhere. It makes it so much easier to be prepared for the worst. I went to a friend’s house last Thursday at 10 a.m. It was–I admit–a bit cloudy. By 3:30 p.m. it was snowing. I didn’t expect it. But I have learned.
When I lived in California I never just took a jacket with me out of habit. I assessed. I went outside and estimated the chance of needing one. I’ll look ridiculous, I thought, lugging a jacket around. And what will Ido with it? I surely won’t need it. Then, out of the blue, it would rain. (That’s funny–it can’t really rain out of the blue. You do, after all, need clouds.) But that’s how it felt, and as a metaphor it does convey my surprise. And the next thing I knew I was sick. Oh, they say, you don’t get sick–you can’t catch a cold or a virus–from the weather. But that’s not what my Mother said. She told me without a jacket “you’ll catch your death of cold.”
So, just to be on the safe side, do what your Mother told you and take your jacket.
Have you heard that old expression? Children do a lot of listening, more than you might think. When they are babies there isn’t much else they can do–their speaking skills are certainly limited. Of course they still convey their feelings, often in ways we can barely abide. You know, crying, screaming, biting, throwing things, etc. You almost have to be a mind reader and learn their body language to anticipate their needs. Eventually they learn to read the signs around them. Your tone, your facial expressions, your hurry or lack of it. The talking you do to soothe them, to scold them, the explanations you give.
In all we have a good 3-4 years of talking we do without very much–I don’t want to say resistance–Heaven knows there is plenty of that! but rather–sharing in return. And even if you do have an early talker, much of what a 3 year old will say will begin with the word “why?” There are just so many things a 3 year old doesn’t know about the universe. He or she is just like a little sponge ready to soak up every last answer about every aspect of his or her world. These years are your prime instruction opportunity. You can shape your child in monumental ways.
Here are just a few ideas that come to mind that you can do. Feel free to add any you think of.
Talk about solutions, about how we can solve this problem and make it better.
Praise every small effort your child makes to please you, and succeed
Build others and speak kindly of them in your child’s presence
Demonstrate a caring attitude towards others who are in need
Model the process of forgiveness by saying I’m sorry
Praise the absent parent
Reassure your child when he is scared
Talk about the little things, every day things
I purposely left out the don’ts. We know what they are. I like focusing on the positives and figuring out concrete actions better, anyway. Eventually your child will have others to listen to–teachers, friends, coaches, siblings. Now is your best chance to instill great values and wonderful attributes. It’s not always easy, I admit. But most of the time you can do it. I love to watch Mothers. I see Mothers all the time who are patient beyond measure, who care deeply and openly. Your child pulls your best self out of you. Mothering is an extraordinary task. Bravo!
You know I received an email with good advice regarding the flu, and it struck me that in 2009 I was getting some of the same advice from the medical professionals that I got from my Mother. (The following excerpted quotes are from Dr. Vinay Goyal, an Intensivist and Thyroid specialist) It’s funny to me because now we actually have explanations for some of these age old cures. For instance:
1) Gargling with salt water is suggested to “prevent proliferation of the virus. Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you don’t trust salt). *H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the throat/ nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms. Simple gargling prevents proliferation. Don’t underestimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative method.” Oh, how I hated that salt water routine and thought my Mother was just torturing me. I used to pretend to gargle with it to stay out of trouble. That is, until my older sister caught me emptying the glass down the drain.
2) Drinking lots of hot liquids is recommended. “ Drink as much of warm liquids (tea, coffee, etc) as you can. Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the reverse direction. Gargling washes off proliferating viruses from the throat into the stomach where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any harm.” My mother handed me hot lemonade, hot tea, or hot broth, depending upon the illness. I handed my children hot cider when they refused the lemonade and tea. I thought it was just to keep us warm and our sinuses open.
3) Washing your hands frequently is recommended–and I’ve heard it suggested that you do it to the tune of tune of Happy Birthday to You, or the ABC song. No short rinsing will do to rid us of the germs and contagion around us. We were always washing our hands it seemed. And showing them to our Mothers, for inspection. I just thought she was a clean freak.
4) “Blowing the nose hard once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton buds dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral population.” Remember your Mother holding a tissue over your nose and insisting that you blow your nose? Oh, that was nasty business!
5) “Eat foods that are rich in Vitamin C to boost your natural immunity.” All those oranges and orange juice had a purpose! My Dad used to take an orange and cut a quarter sized circle of the peel off and hand it to me to suck on. I thought he was just keeping me busy. It takes a long time to finish off an orange that way.
