This Thanksgiving which are you going to be–the hosts, or the company?  Do you know which role you’re playing?  Do you know how to play your role?   Here are a few of my observations.  I hope they will help.

When you’re the host:

1.  You can make your job a whole lot easier if you are willing to ask for help.  People love to bring something.  Make it easy.  Give them an assignment.

2.  Give your guests a specific arrival, eating, and departure time.  It’s always helpful to know what’s expected, and when the party will end.

3.  Have a few ideas of what to do before and after the dinner.  Appetizers were invented for hungry guests, and late in the day dinners.  Games, or outdoor activities if your climate is good, are good alternatives to the TV footballers.

4.  Treat your family and guests like company for this one  grand occasion.  Your children will be learning how to behave from your good example, and who better to practice on than family and friends?

5.  Make it a special occasion by giving your best to it.  Dress up a little, and dress your table up a little.  A few simple decorations will brighten the occasion.

When you’re the company:

1.  Rethink your responsibilities.  You might think you have a free pass.   All you have to do is show up.  Nope, you’re wrong.

2.  Offer to bring something, or help set up, or help clean up.

3.  Be as entertaining as you can be.  Bring a sense of fun or camaraderie with you.

4.  Pay special attention to the children.  They have been anticipating the “company.”   Make your visit memorable for them as well.

5.  Treat your hosts well.  Leave off-topics and old grievances at home.  A holiday should be a pleasant vacation from everyday worries.

6.  Dress up for the occasion.  Clean and presentable are always pleasant on the eye.

These are the same things you would do if you were going out to dinner, whether you are the host or the guest.   I imagine it’s what our Mothers really meant when they told us to mind our manners.